Sousefest '09 - "Pickled" is the right word...

Witness the adventures of the CLQ+TheLush (and a bunch of other crazy characters)

Friday, December 11, 2009

The war plans

It's like planning for war! Everything is color-coded and planned out... wish us luck!
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3 comments:

  1. RTDDecember 11, 2009 at 5:29 AM

    Dear Diary,
    I had the craziest dream last night…
    It was early in the morning and the “nice” one put all kinds of junk in a big red box and left with it before the dopey one and the two runts left the house. These people come and go so much I can’t keep track anymore. She has been home a lot lately so I was kinda glad to see her go. She was getting on my nerves …constantly complaining about how I smell. I got news for her …she is no bouquet of roses herself.
    The other three left shortly after the “nice” one; unfortunately the dumb one came back home sooner than I’d wished. That potlicker is constantly waking me up from a nap.
    As soon as he got home he started teaching me to use the computer. What a schmuck …I’ve been using it for years. They blamed the spoiled one for the virus on the computer …they are so dumb; I’m the one who messed up the computer. Who knew www.who’syourpoodle.com could cause so much destruction??? But I digress!
    After the dumb one thought he’d taught me to type, he made the red light come on the hot food box and started connecting wires to the handle. He is such a moron that I usually ignore him most days, but today he connected these to my bed, my bubbler, and my opening to the outside world. He started looking inside the hot food box for something when I decided it would be a good time for a little drinky poo. I tripped on the damn wire and then got my drink. I was pretty thirsty so I drank a good bit. I keep hearing the loudest slamming noise …not that I cared though; the dopey one didn’t have any food out so he was no good to me at that time. Plus, I was really thirsty!
    When I got out of the Bubbler Room I found the dumb one lying on the floor and a big mess beside him …a lot of red stuff that looked like water but tasted a lot sweeter, some potato chips, and this little piece of bubble gum. Then it occurred to me, that moron got his head caught and the slamming was the start of a glorious day! I was finally rid of that goof!!!

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  2. RTDDecember 11, 2009 at 5:30 AM

    Getting him outside was easy, those dopes don’t know I can work a door handle …they are sooooo dumb. It only took a few minutes to dig the grave and bury him along the fence-line in the backyard [they think I go poopy there, they are so dumb …I use the toilet]
    When I came back in I looked at the website about a bunch of really interesting people meeting up together. The dumb one kept mumbling about drinking smarty juice and re-defining the periodic table of elements. Then he said something about The Big Bang Theory and this would be a weekend worth of episodes. I was only pretending to pay attention to him at that point …he was so dumb. But I digress!
    I checked out the website to find [excuse me for a second] …………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….[thanks, I had to hop down from the desk to lick myself] anyway; I found out that the “nice” one is hanging out with some people I’d never seen before. The best picture was the one with the pork on the plate. The others bored me so much I kept hopping down to lick myself. [I lick myself because I can] I sure hope the “nice” one brings the pork home in one of those white boxes. I love white boxes! But I digress!
    I followed the path of comments and found that the dumb one may have been on to something …37 years old and he finally figured something out, I’d pretend to show him some affection as a reward if I hadn’t just gone out to pee on the grave again. He was sooooo dumb!
    Anyway, it is a new day …I think I’ll check the website ….HOLY Perry the Platypus! This wasn’t a dream! Oh well, I’m hungry. How am I going to pry the runts from the TV to get one of them to feed me? The short one isn’t real bright …I think I can get her to feed me if I take that dopey red power ranger mask and drop it in my food dish. On second thought, I better check in with the one who just figured out the dumb one had more fashion sense than the “nice” one. Maybe the light will come on twice this year.
    I’m going to keep track of this website …gotta be prepared for the end of my vacation when the “nice” one says she is coming home. I hope she brings a white box home with her.

    RTD

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  3. RTDDecember 11, 2009 at 5:38 AM

    You guys could have your own show ...Big Bang Theory Disney

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